Resilience of a child’s heart.

As I sit here on my deck, seeing the trees dance in the wind, the branches every now & then make a creaking sound

The grass is green, it’s just been mowed, the smell of freshly mowed grass lingers in the air

I can hear the native birds flying above, playing in the sky, like tiny kites that dip & flow at will, calling to each other as they soar effortlessly

I reach for my coffee, I can smell the divine scent, the first taste is bliss, it lingers on my tongue, the bitterness I can taste then the sweetness of sugar, finally the creaminess of milk that makes my coffee perfect

Days like this I feel whole, I feel light, there is happiness within me, there is no effort to notice the beauty all around me, my senses are picking up every bit

This is not an everyday occurrence, not for one that struggles with demons in my head, the ones that dull your senses to make it seem the world is dark & lonely

On days like today, I take the extra time, to notice the beauty that is there everyday all around me, not to ignore the little things, as I notice a small finch flying in the white roses, rainbow colours streak as they dart

I am grateful for a day of colour, a day without the heaviness of darkness inside, no weight to pull me down, nothing to make me feel even moving is too much

Just as I am about to have another drink, my hand is almost at the handle of my favourite mug

I hear the happiest sound, running feet & a excited Mummy! School has finished, here come my constant sunshine

The smile on her 10 year old face is full of happiness & love, she runs for a cuddle

I can smell she has been active today, I can feel the softness of her hair as I kiss the top of her head

I know she has been through more loss & heartbreak then many adults can handle, yet there she is as happy as can be

Her hug is as tight as she can make it, she & I love our tight hugs, when you have been through so much together, a hug becomes more of a reminder all is ok

The hug is so fleeting as she has others to greet, she runs off too find her bonus mum, a woman that changed our lives, a small black fluffy dog is her constant companion, running to keep up with her excited steps

I remind myself not to take for granted days like today, it is so easy to not take the time to let my senses take over, I know that I need to notice the joy all around me

Tomorrow may be the same, it could be better

Or it could dump me down into the black hole of despair again.

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