Some days it just seems like everything is not right, off kilter. I know in my mind this is part mental health, part PTSD, part lack of sleep. It’s a battle to get your mind to accept this.
To me, this does not make sense, so our mind is giving us the reason why we feel the way we do, yet the same mind is also making us feel so awful.
For those that don’t suffer from mental health, it feels like this: imagine arguing with one of those people that will not change what they are saying, or who they are saying it. They know they are right, you will not convince them otherwise. Eventually you end up yelling or walking away. What if you can’t?
What if you are stuck arguing with this person, you can’t leave, you can’t stop them, all you can do is try to ignore the constant noise, & argue or reason with them.
Sounds fun doesn’t it? I really struggle with the argument, as I am sure I can win, I do a lot. I come up with an argument that can’t loose.
Then at other times, I loose, I loose so badly the world seems to swallow me. Today is a day that I am not losing, we are about even. I am well aware I am mentally & physically exhausted, my arguments are lacking, I can see the hole starting to open.
Then my day suddenly changed, in the best way! My partner arrived home from work, she presented me with a stunning pair of black diamond earrings. I have always wanted a pair, I love them, they are perfect!
So I have the trump argument for today. The other one arguing with me suddenly goes silent. I am worth it, I am loved, I mean something to someone. Most of all, someone who I adore, adores me.