Grief & all that jazz.

Grief is a constant process, I think I am in control then wham, someone or something brings it all to the forefront of my mind.

Often our grief sits at the back, we know it’s there, it’s a constant, but it’s manageable at the back of our minds, it’s not something we have to have right in front of us.

However this is dependent on your grief, for me I do have grief that is constantly right in front of me, the grief for my wife, I have written previously about her condition. She is still alive, but definitely not the same, the grief for the living is different, & I find much harder.

The grief I have for my father, it is there, I miss him terribly, but it’s not right in front of me all the time. There are always reminders, then I will read something or watch something & think dad would love that, then I remember.

It’s confronting at first, I have found I need to feel it, acknowledge the pain I still feel, I most likely will always feel. I was incredibly close to me father, I really am my Father’s Daughter.

I am so similar to my father, this has become much more obvious since he has been gone, when someone says to me you remind me of your father.

To me this is a huge compliment, my father was a very accomplished man, he was a great man, he left a mark where he had been & changed many lives.

This is how I deal with my grief, I remind people of him, that is an honour & something to aspire to, it gives me purpose, instead of dwelling on the pain.

4 Comments

  1. Grief is as deep as your love was (and is) for him, so feeling it all is just a testament of that… I am sure he is so close to you in spirit. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ellpoet says:

      I know he is close to me, I feel it. I just wish I could have a conversation with him. I wish he could see that I have finally done what he always told me I should with my writing, I know he would be proud.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I really understand that.. I would give anything to be able to talk to my Dad in real life, I know its not the same.. He would.. big hug, Elly (( ))

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ellpoet says:

        Thank you. Stay strong!

        Liked by 1 person

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