Crestfallen.

Her scars are so well hidden, tied up with a ribbon

They have pushed her to be driven, easy street never a given

She looks at them often, to remind her of what can not be forgotten

Her childhood forsaken, the reality was disillusion, her fate unchosen

She is the very definition of a self made woman thriven

Her scars won’t stop her succession, those in her way are stricken with affliction

She knows how it feels to be a trophy decoration, there for a presentation

Now she loves her chosen, trophy hunters are left crestfallen

Strong, filled with intelligence & passion, her path forward unknown

She will walk it unshaken, knowing she is not forsaken

Untying her ribbon, scars no longer hidden

The path will widen, striden forward together, sun shinin.

Circle of fire – a flashback to my youth.

I sat down on the beach, puts my bag beside me
I was early, I choose to be so I could see the last bit of the sunset
The sky was alive with vivid colours, the most incredible display
The sun dipped below the horizon, darkness started to fall
I heard them coming, talking & laughing, my tribe
I stood up & took out my gear, liquid on, as they appeared I lite them up
There is nothing in this world that takes me away more then this
As I dance, I twirl my stick, watching the fire
I feel free, light & wild, i can feel the heat from the flame
As the flame starts to go out, I can hear my friends cheering me on
I feel apart of a tribe, I feel loved, I feel like a wild child.

Valentines inclusion.

Valentine’s Day never used to be huge in Australia, however over the years it has increased in popularity, now it is just expected that all couples celebrate Valentine’s.

For me, I don’t, it is far too commercial, & if my girlfriend would like to do something for me or give me something, I would much prefer that she do this spontaneously. I love it when she surprises me out of the blue.

However for others on Valentine’s Day there is not a lot available for some, there is limited availability for someone who identifies as non binary. There are cards & gifts on Etsy & RedBubble along with gomag.

There are not many poems or love songs. To me this didn’t seem fair, they have gone through so much to figure out who they are, there should be love poetry & songs, gifts & cards out here.

So I decided to do something about it, I wrote a love poem called They & Her. I then sent this to Ryan Cassata who has published me before on a music, poetry blog he is a part of called Rock the Pigeon.

Ryan quickly respond & published my poem. I am so grateful for this, & I hope in some way this makes a small difference.

To read the poem please go to https://rockthepigeon.com/2022/02/08/they-her-by-ellysa-greenhalgh-poetry/

New beginnings.

Just like that 2021 is over, possibly one of the hardest years I have ever had to get through.

Everyone has struggled this year, our lives have changed, it’s been hard to be separated from loved ones.

I would really like this year to be like this, my friend hasn’t spoken to her daughter all year, her daughter has been going through some things, her daughter called at midnight, she felt so happy, so grateful, excited for the future.

Wouldn’t it be great if 2022 was just like that!

Short comings.

Dear 2022,

I am writing to you to provide some advance warning of the expectations for the next 12 months, unfortunately your predecessor did not meet expectations, in fact it left much to be desired.

To name just a few short comings that were experienced that I would kindly ask not be repeated:

Grief: Losing my partners brother unexpectedly & then my father within 24 hours was clearly awful management with no care to how this would affect others, to say this left us devastated would be an understatement, not to mention the sheer pain & distress this caused.

In laws: I know it is a running joke that no one likes in laws, however I am one of the few that have fantastic in laws, at least they were, the way 2020 has stopped them moving forward after trauma really is something that needs to be addressed, this has severely fractured our relationship.

Lockdowns: Lastly, no more of this. This is immature & quite frankly controlling! To be in lockdown whilst grieving, unable to see your family is unacceptable, please ensure this does not happen.

So, what do I ask for:

This 2022 is easy. I ask please, keep things balanced. Provide more happy moments then sad, give me hope again, for now & in the future. Show me the beauty all around, make sure I take notice, give me reason to pause & admire. Help me have more self belief, let me borrow others belief in me & build mine own.

Lastly I ask to please give my girl A fair go, she is 10, but has experienced more trauma & loss then most people to a lifetime, let her be please, just let her be a child, & enjoy what innocence she has left, let her be happy, let her laugh, let her be silly.

I do hope this provides you with some much needed guidance.

Swagger.

She walked into the kitchen, putting extra swing in her swagger

Her long hair down, her singlet loose, bra had gone

She made sure her woman noticed, standing on the side she knew everything was on display

She put her hands up in her hair, leant her head back

Pushing her chest forward, she heard the intake of air

Her partner she knew was watching, enjoying this show

As uncomfortable as she was with her body, she knew her partner loved every inch

Her self esteem so much higher, just knowing she was loved for her

No request to change, no criticism of her little quirks

She would never have put herself on display like this before

Now, she could see the lust & love in her partner’s eyes

She turned, swaggered off to the bedroom, throwing her singlet as she went

She knew her partner would come, they both loved & appreciated each other

She knew her partner couldn’t resist her, she couldn’t resist her partner.

Love is…..

I love you I say to my daughter every night
I love you Mummy she says & gives me a hug
She knows she is loved, she can see how loved she is

I love you Mum I say at the end of our calls
I love you honey, your very dear to me she says back
A mother’s love is strong, I can feel it through her voice

I love you I say to my best friend
I love you too she says, always
After thirty five years we are as close as thieves

I love you, I adore you I say to my girlfriend
She smiles & says I love you too, her love is strong
She hugs me, I sigh & relax in her arms, knowing I am loved

Love can not be defined by one person
Love is felt in so many different ways
Love is acceptance of who you are, just the way you are.

Unbelievable!

Having only started to put myself out there this year, at the age of 45 with my writing, I had no if any expectations. For me, it was a I know I will regret it if I don’t. I thought I might receive a couch of likes, I don’t know if anyone will relate, I am definite not a good writer.

I have always written in a very descriptive way, highly emotional, & I don’t edit. The poems, short stories & blog posts are the first draft. I have tried to edit, however it is never good enough, so I put it toggle in my head first.

To say I have been shocked in the best way, humbled & surprised to find people relate to my writing would be an understatement. I don’t consider myself a good writer, I see all the flaws.

In the last week I have been published, twice!! http://www.unclearmag.com & https://rockthepigeon.com To me it’s like receiving an Oscar. It’s huge, I have been submitting & this the third & fourth time I have been published. I am flabbergasted when I receive an acceptance.

Rock The Pigeon was a very different poem to write, it’s about transitioning, I have never felt I was in the wrong body, but I have friends who have & I read Ryan Cassata’s story, it inspired me. I sent the piece to him, he published it. Beyond humbled by this.

I am grateful for everything that has happened, to everyone who reads my work, thank you, from the bottom of my surprised heart. I love reading your feedback & comments.

THANK YOU!!!!!!

Comfy at home.

I don’t know about you, but I am over hearing people complain about COVID! The way our lives have been restricted, changed, challenged in every way. For those not in Australia, Melbourne since March 2020 we have spent 260 days in lockdown. Often separated from family that live 30kms away for months. yes it is hard.

I know this was all necessary, I know that the government saved many lives by doing this. I know that our healthcare has been able to manage because of these restrictions. That now have finished if you are fully vaccinated, which I am, so is my partner.

Any plans we had, canceled!! My partner works in healthcare, & luck would have it, restrictions are lifted & her workplace has an outbreak. Nearly all the residents & staff are vaccinated, those infected are showing no symptoms due to the vaccine. Those who medically can not be vaccinated are struggling.

When I was first told COVID is more contagious then a cold I could not imagine it. I can now, it flies around, literally it spreads like wildfire. The way it has spread so quickly is astonishing, on day three there were 7 positive, day four 19 positive. I know many who really like me could not fathom something spreading so fast.

So now, we are in somewhat of a lockdown, partner goes to work & home, no where else. I limit where I go, our daughter to school, grandparents & home. We are still locked up in our comfy house. Together, as a family supporting each other.

We are lucky, we are safe. Our daughter is not old enough to be vaccinated, so we are careful, antibacterial wipes & masks on hand always. Lockdown is not so bad, being healthy, happy & together. I will take that any day over sickness. Once this outbreak is over, we can go out more. We can rejoin society. For the moment I know I am blessed.

Storm Of Grief.

The affliction suffered has decayed the body

Taking within, killing the inside slowly

Once a warrior, now unable to stand

Tightly holding on to dignity

There will be no reprieve

The suffering is silent to save the hearts of your cherished ones

A devoted wife, never leaving your now quivering soul alone

A daughter, the desire to see her is pushed down

You will not condemn her, will not let her last memory of you

Be one of such pain

The awareness that her heart is breaking, you will protect her

Until your dying breath
You let go

The loss I feel inside my heart, my soul is profound

My father, who gave so much, schooled me on life

Showed me how to balance the insane with the sane

Never will there be a day I do not miss you

Never will there be a day, I won’t ensure your love, my mother, is weathering the storm of grief.

Just another Bella – a song.

I remember when you were seven, making daisy chains

Giving them to anyone, you gave one to me, you showed me how, you kept me sane

At thirteen we were talking crushes, you loved a great male mane

Sixteen we were the wild ones, always together, we kept each other whole

You kept me sane, I drove you to the edge of sane

You were Cinderella , I was just another Bella

You stopped me ganging, I kept you busy forever

You went that way, I went this way, we swore College wouldn’t change us

I learnt how to smoke & hustle, you earned your law coat, how to make a courtroom bustle

I was the usual suspect, cops found me theiving,

You were meant to treat me as a subject, just like old times, you saved me

You kept me sane, I drove you to the edge of sane

You were Cinderella , I was just another Bella

You stopped me ganging, I kept you busy forever

You watched me like a hawk, you stalked, I tried to hit the sidewalk, you caught me

You made me a daisy chain, told me you’d keep me sane

I slowly reclaimed me, you kept me sane

You kept me sane, I drove you to the edge of sane

You were Cinderella , I was just another Bella

You stopped me ganging, I kept you busy forever

Now at seventy seven, we look back at all the fun

Now both Mums, listening to our kids wrestle their confusion

Now we give opinions, hoping the young listen

We be smilin in our wisdom, ginning from ear to ear, tolerance & acceptance, livin & breathin, life time friendship, blessin

You kept me sane, I drove you to the edge of sane

You were Cinderella , I was just another Bella

You stopped me ganging, I kept you busy forever

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

At the grand age of 45 I am learning a new skill, the art of writing rap. I have always just let my writing flow, it comes naturally. I have never gone to classes or done any courses until this year.

An opportunity came my way to help write a short film, along with others, one of the writers naturally writes rap. After reading what she wrote the whole short film will be rap.

So here I am trying to get how this is done, it’s a completely different way of writing. I enjoy listening to rap music, I have a whole new level of respect for the artists.

It is not an easy way to write, to get it to flow just right, to make sure everything sounds easy. I am lucky that I have someone to run things by, as my first attempt which I thought was good, was not rap. It didn’t rhyme enough, the flow wasn’t there & it was hard to voice.

Learning this made me think, as we travel through life we learn new skills all the time, sometimes it’s great to challenge ourselves to learn something completely different. Something which makes us change the way we think.

To really push ourselves outside that comfort zone, I know a lot of sites say to do this to improve yourself. No, it’s not about improvement, it’s about pushing ourselves in a way that we find fun, interesting & enjoyable.

We all need ways to keep our minds busy, I am finding this is a really great & fun way, yes it definitely hurts my brain, but I am loving learning something that is completely different for me.

So, let yourself imagine something you would like to try, that’s completely different for you. Add more enjoyment to your life.

Chemistry ignites – short erotic story.

Sheila had always had a fantasy woman, this woman always appeared in her erotic dreams, & she always thought of her when pleasuring herself. She could imagine how it would be to kiss her breasts, run her hand down her back, lick her pussy, just like she does an ice cream. How it would feel to have this woman touch her breasts, suck on them, push her fingers inside her.

The feelings were so intense as she came, always guaranteed to work. Her woman was blonde, short, lean but curvy, with a great arse. She had attitude, almost the bad girl, full of sex appeal. Not full of herself, unaware of how attractive she is, she walks with a sexy swagger.

Sheila went out one night, she was meant to go with Marcia who cancelled at the last minute, Sheila decided she hadn’t been to the Lesbian bar for some time, why not go alone. She dressed up in her favorite low cut top, with DD breasts & a push up bra she knew the top looked good. She wore her favorite black jeans & stiletto boots. Not too much make up, & of course her green leather jacket.

Sheila walked in to the bar, feeling apprehensive, she hadn’t been out alone before, she had always wanted to, just to prove to herself she could. She walked up to the bar & ordered her standard drink a scotch on the rocks. Top shelf scotch, she loved a good scotch. Sheila took a sip & licked her lips, she closed her eyes as the familiar burning sensation went down her throat, good scotch she thought.

‘Excuse me, can I sit here?’ Said a voice next to her, Sheila opened her eyes & blinked, was something in her drink? Her woman was in front of her, exactly as she imagined. The only thing different, she was living & breathing.

‘Sure, ah yep.’ Sheila said in a quiet voice. ‘Thanks, just stopped for a quick drink. Hey can I get a top shelf scotch on the rocks?’ Sheila looked in awe, she had good taste. ‘So, uh, I haven’t seen you here before?’ Sheila could have slapped herself, did she really just say that?

‘Ha! That’s an old line, no I don’t go to bars much, I tend to stick to home & friends. Actually, I hate being hit on, I stay away from bars, clubs, all of it.’ Sheila nodded ‘sorry, that just came out. I didn’t mea’ Sheila was cut off. ‘Don’t worry, look I am just here for the drink. Where are your friends?’

‘Well, um I came alone actually.’ Sheila went bright red with embarrassment. ‘Seriously? Girl that takes guts, good on you. You never know what will happen. I like a woman who walks to her own beat.’ Her blue eyes looked straight into Sheila’s, keeping her transfixed.

‘So you like good Scotch, do you live locally? Oh, ha I am Axel, nice to meet you.’ Sheila looked at Axel ‘Sheila, & yes I live within walking distance. I love a good scotch, I have two indulgences, Scotch & lingerie.’

‘Oh, who is the lingerie for?’ Axel asked. ‘Me, I don’t have a girlfriend.’ Sheila said getting more confident. ‘Well I am going to be forward, how about we go to your place & enjoy some scotch?’ Axel said whilst obviously looking at Sheila’s chest. Sheila sat up straighter & pushed her chest out a bit, making it clear they were Axels for the taking.

Axel looked up, ‘Maybe whilst we enjoy a scotch you could put on some lingerie for me to admire you in?’ Sheila felt her pulse quicken, wetness pooled in her panties, she was desperate to undress Axel. ‘Axel I would love to sit in a corset & suspenders, with crotchless knickers, red I think, for you to admire & watch me get the scotch ready.’ Sheila had never been so bold in her life. Axel chocked on some scotch, obviously not expecting such boldness.

‘Let’s go babe, I can drive you.’ Axel said as she put money down for the drinks, grabbed Sheila’s hand & pulled her towards the exit. Sheila could feel Axels pulse was quick, her palms a little sweaty, her swagger almost had Sheila drooling.

Axel unlocked her car, Sheila got in the passenger side, she was about to pull her seat belt across, when Axel leant across, kissing her lightly on the top of her breasts, Axel grabbed the seat belt & clicked it in. Sheila was squirming. ‘Anticipation baby, I want you soaking wet for me.’ Axel said with a crocked smile. Sheila closed her eyes & moaned.

Sheila unlocked her front door, walked into the kitchen, grabbed Axel & lifted her on to the counter. Before Axel could speak Sheila kissed her, parting her lips with her tongue, Sheila slowly drew out Axels tongue & started sucking it. Axel pulled back, ‘I want your tongue inside me.’ Sheila laughed & said ‘Anticipation baby.’ Axel grabbed her & took of her jacket, top & bra quickly, she squeezed one breast & started sucking on the other.

Sheila could feel this was not going to take long, Axel pushed down her jeans, & in a swift movement, parted her legs & thrust her fingers inside her, Sheila’s legs almost gave way with the pleasure. Axel turned her around, put an arm around her waist, bent her forward & thrust two fingers in & out, it was as if Axel knew what she wanted, Axel started to thrust harder & faster, Sheila could feel herself dripping down her leg, suddenly the most intense orgasm took her over. Axel didn’t stop, she kept going whilst Sheila felt like she had honey running through her veins. The feeling was euphoric.

As her orgasm started to dim Sheila took Axels fingers out, spun around & almost ripped off Axels jeans. Sheila spread her legs wide & pushed her tongue inside her. The taste, the taste of Axel was so sweet, as it ran down Sheila’s throat she moaned the taste & feel of Axel was bringing another orgasm. Sheila licked up to her clit, she sucked on her clit, flicking it with her tongue. Axel was trying so hard to control herself, not to finish yet, but her body had other ideas.

Sheila licked up into Axel as far as she could, she thrust her tongue in & out, suddenly Axels orgasm took over, Axel squirted right down Sheila’s throat. Sheila orgasmed again from the feel, the taste, the bucking of Axels hips.

Sheila stood up, ‘how about that scotch now?’ Axel looked at her with fuzzy eyes, ‘sure baby, then round two.’ Sheila shivered at the thought, she went & got her best bottle of scotch & two glasses. She hoped they would be up all night.

Striking beauty.

I was tired, I lay down for a bit, reenergise my tired body

You came in after cutting the wood, wet & cold from the rain

You looked at me curled up in bed, my eyes were closed

I heard you open the shower door, you stood in the bathroom doorway

You started to remove your clothes, very slowly

Your jumper came off, soaking wet, your tee shirt clung to your body

You had no bra on, your breasts were clear for me to see

I loved looking at the perfect round shape, seeing the outline of your nipples

Your jeans looked as if they were sprayed on, clinging to every bit of your long legs

You slowly pushed them down, keeping your legs straight so your body looked like pure seduction

You took them off your feet & stood up straight, taking your hair out & letting it flow down your back

You turned & looked at me, completely naked, strikingly beautiful

Your whole body was a work of art, you ran your hand down your chest

You smiled a wicked smile & walked into the shower, making sure to swing your hips.

Sting my heart.

My scorpion woman is a irresistible force

With her long legs, perfectly shaped & touchable

Her waist that is made just for me, my arms fit perfectly

Her dearie is round & perky, always teasing my eyes

Her breasts are perfect in every way, filling my mouth

Her lips like a bow, just begging for a kiss

Her eyes are blue, they seem to be sapphires, twinkling at me

Her mind, is by far her sexiest part, quick as a whip, always ready to delve into debate

Her tastiest part is between her perfect legs, her honey is sweet

There is not a part of this Scorpio that has not stung my heart.