End result – questionable.

I wrote recently that I was learning to write rap, the short film has been completed, I was then challenged to write a rap based on the top 20 in the radio charts. I can’t remember the last time I listened to the radio! So here is my rap, first one I wrote for the movie, the second a radio rap!

The old soul thief, was gearing to slither

Nearing her prey, she gave her rattle a quiver

Innocent prey turned about, blind she was the giver

With a whisp of words, Rita ghosted to dust, heading for the liver

Sweet young soul, turned to a sinner

Quickly becoming the killer

Daddy is dead, she struts into the night, to be a man killer

Rita at the helm, she controlled her new thriller

Ready to raise a new ladykiller

She slithered her way around many towns she had to fulfil her

No thoughts of innocence left, she slithered back to be a fool killer

The vessel she had was a show killer

Heads turned, men whistled at her sinner

In the woods they found the fools

Within a beat of a heart, she stole his heart, leaving him to drool

He pined for his love, she finally came, to take him to sinner grad school

She took him all, betrayed his love, leaving him with no inner tools

Wade was left with nothing, just a empty whirlpool

Rita thought she had fooled them all, but Abigail was no dam fool

She woke up inside, just as Rita was going to end the duel

Yelled up to the heavens, Rita was left to slither away, just another fool.

Radio rap:

It’s the weekend, time to get the freak on, geeks!! Yeah!

Do ya all have ya wine in the sinks, Ready to down that liquid, ready to clink, Tonight is the night to, OVERDRINK!! I know You all ready, to get out your kink

Oh fellas, better watch your Humperdinck, dink, dink. Get out those drinks, let’s clink, Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

Oh ladies, are you ready for us to interlink

You know we will slink to you, we gonna sync

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

Take off all those coats & minks, I wanna see those arses go low & dink, So come on, I know you a good girl fairy, but please, can we see Tink? Come on give us a wink!!

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

Oh ladies, are you ready for us to interlink You know we will slink to you, we gonna sync

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

So come on, I know you a good girl fairy, but please, can we see Tink? Come on give us a wink!!

Transparent.

In today’s world people like to judge you & put you in a box, as quickly as possible, it makes them more comfortable & they like to think they have figured you ok.

Me, I do not do this. How can I? If I were to describe my life quickly it would be: mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, employee, writer, friend & carer. Most people presume I am polyamorous, & they make no secret of their judgement.

I do laugh at this, no I say, my wife has an acquired brain injury, they are always taken aback, & can not apologise enough. I tell them their is no need to apologise for thinking I am poly, but there is for judging me, for basically saying you think my lifestyle is wrong.

What right do others have to judge? To make others feel like they have to hide things because they hate the reactions. No one has the right to judge, no one has the right to make you feel ashamed.

I try to be open & honest, I try to be transparent, this is who I am, take it or leave it. Yes I am a lesbian, yes we have a daughter, yes she has three Mums. Does she care? No she feels lucky, she has two active mums & one living in care. Is she embarrassed? Not at all, her life is complicated, but she doesn’t see it that way.

I know I am incredibly lucky to have accidentally found someone who not only understands my situation, but is supportive of my emotional relationship with my wife. My wife is happy that I & our daughter have found some happiness again. We are one big family.

Never feel like you have to hide, if you are ashamed, why are you? If society makes you feel that way, then find your tribe.

Let’s get real – menopause needs to be talked about.

As a teenager my mum told me what to expect from my period, I had education at school on what to expect, my friends all discussed how they were feeling.

We compared symptoms, we all started our first period within about 18 months of each other, we knew it was not going to a fun experience, we knew all sorts of symptoms we could experience.

Now I am at the other end of the journey, Perimenopause. Just like most women I was aware I would start menopause in about my mid fifties, some hot flushes, mood swings, the upside no more periods.

Wrong, oh so wrong, no one told me about Perimenopause. No doctor, no nurse or other medical professional, there were no colourful information sheets at the doctors to tell me I was going to start this mid forties for most women. I was 40 when things started to change.

My question is, why are we not told? To give you an idea, most women experience hair loss, mood swings, hot flushes, anxiety, bloating, weight gain, feelings of self hatred, lack of sex drive & vaginal dryness & the list goes on.

Everyone of course has varying degrees, some symptoms & not others. My mum for instance went through a few hot flushes.

As for me, I thought I was having a mental breakdown, anxiety, depression, real self hate issues, I could not look in the mirror. I would cry for hours on end, vertigo, bloating, water retention so severe I have never experienced anything like it. Some of my jeans would not fit over my ankles.

This is just a light description, I still suffer symptoms, insomnia, self hate comes & goes. The theory behind self hate is that our bodies can not carry a child anymore, in my case I am unable to anyway so it’s odd feeling.

After many doctors visits & research it was clear by my hormone levels this was what was happening. I then discovered I had it easy, seriously? I couldn’t work full time anymore, I could barely function with the brain fog & memory loss some days.

I did find great support through Facebook where there are Perimenopause support groups, other women that get the despair.

The medical support available such as HRT & other alternatives can be great, if you can have them, some women like myself unfortunately can not.

So, if you are reading this, educate yourself, start a conversation with friends, talk to your doctor.

Let’s get real about this, let’s start saying to our governments, this needs to be a conversation, there needs to be education & support around this.