New beginnings.

Just like that 2021 is over, possibly one of the hardest years I have ever had to get through.

Everyone has struggled this year, our lives have changed, it’s been hard to be separated from loved ones.

I would really like this year to be like this, my friend hasn’t spoken to her daughter all year, her daughter has been going through some things, her daughter called at midnight, she felt so happy, so grateful, excited for the future.

Wouldn’t it be great if 2022 was just like that!

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Comfy at home.

I don’t know about you, but I am over hearing people complain about COVID! The way our lives have been restricted, changed, challenged in every way. For those not in Australia, Melbourne since March 2020 we have spent 260 days in lockdown. Often separated from family that live 30kms away for months. yes it is hard.

I know this was all necessary, I know that the government saved many lives by doing this. I know that our healthcare has been able to manage because of these restrictions. That now have finished if you are fully vaccinated, which I am, so is my partner.

Any plans we had, canceled!! My partner works in healthcare, & luck would have it, restrictions are lifted & her workplace has an outbreak. Nearly all the residents & staff are vaccinated, those infected are showing no symptoms due to the vaccine. Those who medically can not be vaccinated are struggling.

When I was first told COVID is more contagious then a cold I could not imagine it. I can now, it flies around, literally it spreads like wildfire. The way it has spread so quickly is astonishing, on day three there were 7 positive, day four 19 positive. I know many who really like me could not fathom something spreading so fast.

So now, we are in somewhat of a lockdown, partner goes to work & home, no where else. I limit where I go, our daughter to school, grandparents & home. We are still locked up in our comfy house. Together, as a family supporting each other.

We are lucky, we are safe. Our daughter is not old enough to be vaccinated, so we are careful, antibacterial wipes & masks on hand always. Lockdown is not so bad, being healthy, happy & together. I will take that any day over sickness. Once this outbreak is over, we can go out more. We can rejoin society. For the moment I know I am blessed.

End result – questionable.

I wrote recently that I was learning to write rap, the short film has been completed, I was then challenged to write a rap based on the top 20 in the radio charts. I can’t remember the last time I listened to the radio! So here is my rap, first one I wrote for the movie, the second a radio rap!

The old soul thief, was gearing to slither

Nearing her prey, she gave her rattle a quiver

Innocent prey turned about, blind she was the giver

With a whisp of words, Rita ghosted to dust, heading for the liver

Sweet young soul, turned to a sinner

Quickly becoming the killer

Daddy is dead, she struts into the night, to be a man killer

Rita at the helm, she controlled her new thriller

Ready to raise a new ladykiller

She slithered her way around many towns she had to fulfil her

No thoughts of innocence left, she slithered back to be a fool killer

The vessel she had was a show killer

Heads turned, men whistled at her sinner

In the woods they found the fools

Within a beat of a heart, she stole his heart, leaving him to drool

He pined for his love, she finally came, to take him to sinner grad school

She took him all, betrayed his love, leaving him with no inner tools

Wade was left with nothing, just a empty whirlpool

Rita thought she had fooled them all, but Abigail was no dam fool

She woke up inside, just as Rita was going to end the duel

Yelled up to the heavens, Rita was left to slither away, just another fool.

Radio rap:

It’s the weekend, time to get the freak on, geeks!! Yeah!

Do ya all have ya wine in the sinks, Ready to down that liquid, ready to clink, Tonight is the night to, OVERDRINK!! I know You all ready, to get out your kink

Oh fellas, better watch your Humperdinck, dink, dink. Get out those drinks, let’s clink, Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

Oh ladies, are you ready for us to interlink

You know we will slink to you, we gonna sync

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

Take off all those coats & minks, I wanna see those arses go low & dink, So come on, I know you a good girl fairy, but please, can we see Tink? Come on give us a wink!!

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

Oh ladies, are you ready for us to interlink You know we will slink to you, we gonna sync

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

Get out those drinks, let’s clink

You don’t need no damm shrink! Just get your head, in the wine sink

So come on, I know you a good girl fairy, but please, can we see Tink? Come on give us a wink!!

Transparent.

In today’s world people like to judge you & put you in a box, as quickly as possible, it makes them more comfortable & they like to think they have figured you ok.

Me, I do not do this. How can I? If I were to describe my life quickly it would be: mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, employee, writer, friend & carer. Most people presume I am polyamorous, & they make no secret of their judgement.

I do laugh at this, no I say, my wife has an acquired brain injury, they are always taken aback, & can not apologise enough. I tell them their is no need to apologise for thinking I am poly, but there is for judging me, for basically saying you think my lifestyle is wrong.

What right do others have to judge? To make others feel like they have to hide things because they hate the reactions. No one has the right to judge, no one has the right to make you feel ashamed.

I try to be open & honest, I try to be transparent, this is who I am, take it or leave it. Yes I am a lesbian, yes we have a daughter, yes she has three Mums. Does she care? No she feels lucky, she has two active mums & one living in care. Is she embarrassed? Not at all, her life is complicated, but she doesn’t see it that way.

I know I am incredibly lucky to have accidentally found someone who not only understands my situation, but is supportive of my emotional relationship with my wife. My wife is happy that I & our daughter have found some happiness again. We are one big family.

Never feel like you have to hide, if you are ashamed, why are you? If society makes you feel that way, then find your tribe.

Memories of music.

‘You are so beautiful to me, can’t you see.’ William sang as he glided gracefully over the floor, in his arms his wife smiled up at him, this was there song, not the wedding song, there private song. He often played it after dinner, & would sing it to her, & they would start to dance.

He loved the smell of her floral fragrance, as it lightly filled the air as they danced, the shampoo she used, he knew that smell. She would tuck her head under his chin, & sigh, her hair would tickle his nose as they moved. She never once refused to dance with him, always with a shy smile, almost like she could still not believe he loved her.

She was 16 when they met, she was the younger sister of a friend, she thought she was a plain Jane, she didn’t see herself as beautiful. When he first saw her, he noticed the natural red highlights in her hair that shone when she stood in the sun, the way her smile lit up her face, her eyes twinkling with happiness.

He noticed the way she often wrung her hands when she was nervous, but what he really noticed was the way she moved. When she danced, she let the music guide her, she looked graceful & beautiful, it appeared to him that she was gliding over the floor, her feet barley touching the floor.

William did another twirl around the floor, he remembered how beautiful she looked on their wedding day, unlike the other girls she had chosen an understated dress, it was perfect for dancing. She was 18, just, the week before she had turned 18, he had just turned 23. As the glided down the aisle she had radiated happiness, he had hoped he could keep her happy forever.

On their 25th wedding anniversary, he had surprised her, he had organised for the priest who married them to another ceremony, not another wedding, it was just the two of them. A ceremony that was all about her, the scarifies she had made for him & their children. How she had always put everyone else first, even when her favourite band came on tour, he had been working late, the babysitter cancelled, so she didn’t go. When he asked why she didn’t call him, he would have come home, he knew how much music meant to her, she smiled, ‘No darling, you bring in the money, I do the home. There will be another time.’

He had made sure there was another time, when they went to dance at the end of the ceremony, he had arranged a live web link to the band, they played just for her. She was speechless, & knew she was appreciated.

He twirled around & other memories came to mind, a lifetime of memories, everyone one had a song to go with it, always there was music in their house, car, in their lives. ‘You are so beautiful’ The song was finishing, he started to slow down.

William, come on now, you know you should be in bed, come on, lets go.’ said the man standing next to him, who was this man?

‘William? It’s me Joe, you live here now. Are you dancing with your wife again? I love hearing the stories of your wife. Why don’t you tall me one whilst I walk you to your room.’

William was confused, he started walking slowly with Joe. He was about to ask where his wife was, a nagging memory told him not to, he somehow knew she had passed on. The memory of that was fuzzy, he hung on to the memories of music.